A MESSAGE FROM GOD TO ME

Hi,guys and girls or anyone who read this entry...

You know what ? Finally I finished my 7 semester academical education in medical faculty, wohooo...many relatives of mine said “Oh,time flies so fast, it feels like you are being  medical student just for few days  and now you are a S.Ked, unbelieveable”. Helloooo, people...you gotta stand on my shoes so then you won’t ever dare to say that. Every second of 3.5 years I spent was won”dead”ful time. I spent 1st and 2nd semester by struggling with super “sharp” smell of formalin used to presipitate THE CADAVER. Those days with anatomy class were full of tears and sweat accompanied by hunger and tire because we had to attend anatomy class in the morning then another anatomy class at laboratory in the afternoon. Being able to go home before 6 p.m was a bless for us. I am a kind of person who can’t memorize evenmy classmates’ names but I had to memorize thousands strange name of body parts and organs. During first months at med school, that idea of retiring haunted me. I felt like I was in wrong place, I could get something better then killing my self with something I disliked, I did a flashback for days to find the real reason of being here, in a place where parents send their children to be other people life savior.

I still remember the very first time I entered anatomy laboratory. I felt like I was a chicken even at home, I had my younger sister to accompany me even when I wanted to toilet at midnight. That day was friday and all students were lining up in front of the room, doing some holy pray before coming inside. I tried to analyze my friends’ expression, wondering whether there was someone who look as scared as me, and you know what? NO ONE look scared but me. I was alone in that dark and silent coridor,huhuhu, Ok, I exaggerated it. When I entered the room, whoaaaa.....a question popped in my mind, “are you kidding me? This isn’t a laboratory but a horror movie scene background!”. I even couldn’t feel my feet anymore, I was shaking like gonna be slaughtered chicken. There, inside the rooms, those mutilated bodies were arranged neatly on few desks.There were lungs, balded head, throat, and etc. Ok, it happened few years ago but if you ask me to come into anatomy laboratory now, hohoho...you know the answer, I’m not a freshman anymore so my answer gonna be “NO WAY!”. I’ll never do that again unless there’s someonewho accompany me. Call me chicken or whatever, but trust me anatomy is quite scary.

The 3.5 years at campus also gave me a lot of sweet memories, friendship, falling in love, being students commitee member, and many others. One of touching memory I got was my first circumsisi.  I was about giving up my dream to be a doctor in first semester but before holiday came I joined a charity event in a small village. I had no experience holding those surgery tools, all I have in my brain was theory about what to do from some videos I watched before. I’m telling you people, circumsisi is a very important stage of a man’s life. One mistake, and he’s gonna lose his future (future refers to sex life). My patient was an elementary school student. I and the other two students performed circumsisi process on him with shaking hands, sweating body, and jumpy heart. At the middle of surgery I realized that those surgery equipments didn’t work properly, O.M.G ! the cutting wasn’t so nice, and I bet his parents realize it. I felt so down and guilty. At the end of circumsisi, a touching moment happened. His parents said, “Thank you so much, miss doctor for your hard work. I wish someday my son can be a doctor like you, right son?” and then my patient answered “yes, mom. I want to be a doctor.” I was speechless, I felt like I was slapped on face for few times. When the conversation finished I went to a room and cried my heart out loud. I couldn’t believe that there were some people who still trusted me even when I was no one, I did mistakes, and the worst one I was someone who planned to let my dream goes just because I wasn’t confident with my self. God must be very kind to me, He sent those people to remind me of my parents, my sisters, and everyone around who put a big hope on me. He reminds me of a little girl who was born in a village as first daughter. A little girl who always said with proud smile to the elders at village, “I’m gonna be doctor someday. I will cure everyone who  are sick. I will be a good one, yay!”. And when that little girl almost gave up, God sent a message of not giving up and fight hard so that the little girl can grow up as a wonderful doctor. Thanks God, you are the best !

Well, now I’m a S.ked. There are 2 years more to go. Internship programme is waiting for me. I believe there will be more message from God I will recieve, about life and death, about hope and faith. I know it won’t be an easy period but I also know I’m to good to give up. I hope this entry can always be my reminder when I’m down, when I heve no spirit left. So, guys and girls, please pray for me...Hwaiting!

Note : S.ked           =  Sarjana kedokteran/ first bachelor degree for medical student

Circumsisi =  A minor surgery to cut preputium of man’s genital organ to prevent cancer and infection.