I AM MY HAPPINESS

I watched an infotainment programme this evening and there was a report about a newly wedded celebrity couple who spent billions rupiah to build their house or I rather call it a mansion. The husband said that he didn’t care how much he got to spend as long as he could make his wife happy because she is his happiness. Another news programme I watched after that, told a story of a couple who was waiting for their baby recovery from mistargeted shoot accident. They said they were waiting for their happiness to wake up and play again like other kids do.

Those reports I watched on TV made me sit in front of my notebook and started to think about the keyword which is “HAPPINESS”. I believe that there are a lot of motivation books which tell you how to reach your happiness, how to make your life full happiness, or how to create happiness for people around you (I used to read those books before). In this case, I want  to talk about defining “HAPPINESS” before finding a way to feel it. You can look into your dictionary to find the meaning of this world. Happiness has different translations in many languages, “Kebahagiaan”, “Haengbok”, and many others. But after all it’s about what you fell and what you realize.

Let me tell you my own definition of  happiness. I always believe that my happiness is my self. It’s a feeling about what I have, what I see, what I get, and many other things that I may do or what may happen to me. One person can feel happy when she lives in a big mansion, has a lot of money to shop, goes travelling around the world like many rich people do. Another person may feel happy when she or he can have dinner together with his or her beloved ones. It’s definitly a big mistake when someone says “she is my happiness” to his lover or “my job is my happiness”. What if his happiness leave him for another person? what will happen if he lose his job? Does it mean he won’t feel happiness anymore? What will happen to someone who lives in an unhappy life? Isn’t it better for him to die instead?. See, this isn’t a right concept. I strongly believe as long as you have your self, you can control your happiness. Try to realize how lucky you are when it comes to happiness creating process. If you lose your lover, then be thankful that you’re not alone because you still have your family and friends around you. If you lose your job, then remember that you haven’t lost your breath or your health. You still can find another job to enjoy. If you lose your faith always remember that you’re born alone, so whatever happen in your life depends on your self.

I don’t mean you have to be selfish in making your self happy. Doing something for other people can be your happiness too. My father always say he’s one of the most happy guy in this world eventough he has to work very hard everyday. His happiness is his state as a father of three wonderful daughters. He’s happy and proud for being able to sent his children to the best school he can afford. Of course he got his own ambitions, but he said being a good father and husband is much important for him. My mother has different story. Many people said having high education will bring you happiness in life. The fact is my mom only finished her elementary school. Every time she talks about her life, she never make any complaint about my grandparents for being incompetent in supporting her education back then (my grandparents are farmers). She did imagine what if she could get higher education, maybe she wouldn’t ever meet my father. Maybe right now, she will be sitting in her office, doing a lot of papers, has super busy life, and the worst she won’t ever have us (I’m pretty confident about this). Once again, I’m telling you that your happiness depends on your point of view.

Let me tell you about my own story. I used to live in small town before. After graduating senior high, I live in capital city of South Kalimantan province. In this city I can find malls, movies, bookshops, and many entertainment centers. When I was a student in small town I used to dream that I would be very happy to live in a big city. I would go to shopping center every week, watching new released movies every weekend with my friend, I could have “cool” life. After spending three and half years of my life in this city, I feel nothing but boredom. I have to be in traffic jam every day, breathing in polluted air, and live in (I think) quite crowded place. I miss my house in my hometown everyday. I have large garden in my house that let me doing everything I want, planting a lot of flowers, and breathing in clear air. I wasn’t happy at first about my life in big city, but as I told you, since I believe I can control my happiness, I always try to find reasons why I should be happy here. I started with my friends who always bring laughter, tears, and lessons for me. I also realize I’m here because I have a goal to achive, reaching my dream to be a great doctor. I know I’ve been given a big chance that not everyone can get (considering how expensive medical school fee is). Also, here, I found my special one (I can’t predict about my future with this person). By these facts, I think I have no reason for being unhappy. Again, I’m telling you that the key is your own mind in realizing what you got.

I know I’m bad in delivering my idea. All I want to say is you are your own happiness. Happiness never depend on other people or things but your self and your mind. I don’t care if my friends could get opportunity to watch SUPER JUNIOR (a korean boys group I love so much) live in Super Show or others shows they participate. Sitting in front of my notebook, writing about my mind, while listening to SUPER JUNIOR’s songs from MP3 with a glass of tea, make me thing I’m happy enough to say “Nothing to regret” just like agent Peter Burke said in White Collar season 2 (You gotta watch this series). So, find your reason, think about it, and then, BE HAPPY!